Oh no baby, what is you doing?

So if you’re reading this, you’re probably thinking, ‘Shiggy! You really just disappeared off the blogosphere! You told us you were going to post twice a week, you vowed to! You were going to post about random things, important things, funny things, anything!– and instead you just stopped cold turkey halfway through the summer? Shame!’

And if you’re thinking that in any way, you’re right! I’m trash! How dare I just abandon my passion project like that? However, in my defense, my absence isn’t the result of any lack of interest in my impromptu hobby or lack of motivation to create new content. No no no, instead, you can place a lot of the blame on the Law School Admission Test.

So in July, I started studying for the September LSAT, and it’s pretty much consumed a large portion of my life ever since. (I’m talking like, ‘actively look for and try to identify fallacies in people’s twitter arguments’ kinda consumed). Initially, I didn’t want to tell anyone at all that I was trying to take this test because I wanted to minimize the damage control I’d have to do later if I didn’t get the score I wanted or if things didn’t work out (It’s easy to lick your wounds in privacy, right?) But in the process of considering law school, trying to sign up for and study for the LSAT, and figuring out how (or, more importantly, when) to do applications, I’ve come across a sort of personal problem.

I’m so! lost!!

And look, I could go on and on about the wealth of information I’d have at the tip of my fingertips from my parents, extended family, Bengali aunties and uncles, family friends if I wanted to go into a field like medicine or engineering (and how perhaps that is a result of the stigmatization of arts, humanities, and creative subjects in my community…) but I’ll spare you that discussion for now. The main point here is that this process has already been one with a lot of fumbling and struggle, and without the help of mentors (some of whom stumbled into my life basically by chance, s/o to Dhara), I would probably be so far off my timeline right now that I wouldn’t have recovered.

So I am going to talk openly and honestly about this whole experience because the benefits are two-fold. On one hand, recording my experiences and the advice I have in real-time is good because I’ll probably forget it all later when this whole thing is over and it might be kind of helpful to someone else who’s lost and in need of some guidance sometime in the future! (Orrrrr it might become a guide of what not to do when applying for law school! I don’t know how the future will turn out, I’m no psychic!)

But on the other hand, a more self-serving note, recording this journey will keep me accountable– both to the goals I had for myself at the beginning and working hard hard hard for these last 23 (or so?) days so that I don’t end up with any regrets later. This is my dream of today, my goal of tomorrow, and my determination for the future– and I want to officially speak those words into the universe and bring some real weight to them!

There’s a reason why I picked this path from journalism, literature, public policy, all my other interests, etc.; and that’s because the part of me that is passionate about the power of words on paper is equally passionate about the chance to create power and justice and put those words into action. It’s important to note that my blog hasn’t reflected that part of me much, and has instead been a little bit more focused more on the details of life that bring me a sense of peace or escape– which everyone needs and I’m certainly not ashamed of! But have you seen the world today? The political climate? Having a platform (even if, in my case, only about 11 people follow) and not using it to develop my political thoughts and opinions and be vocal about my beliefs is as much of a shame as not posting at all! (Especially considering how politics is one of the most important lenses through which I see the world!!) So complacency? Feeling powerless and defeated by the world and politics?  In this day and age? Oh no baby, what is you doing!? Definitely not that anymore!

Through studying for this test, as tiring and annoying as it’s been, I’ve become refocused and reminded of my priorities and goals in life; the kind of impact I want to make and the best ways I want to spend time. So yes, the study of law is going to be the most brutal and exhausting thing I may ever do (after the LSAT) (if I get into a law school), but I cannot think of anything more noble or inspiring to devote my life to.

So those are my thoughts right now; my jumbled, stressed, but impassioned thoughts! A detailed post of what I’ve been doing so far, the problems I’ve ran into, and the good advice that I’ve gotten along the way will come later (probably during a future study break!), but for now this is really all I wanted to say.

For all y’all who’ve been staring at my dismal un-updated website front page for weeks now like,

You have your answer now!

Love,

Shiggy (2)

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2 thoughts on “Oh no baby, what is you doing?

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